Gail Schmalfeldt talks about her first time Gail: My first time getting buttfucked by Billy was in a trailer outside Elkridge Maryland. Interviewer: Wasn’t it a little cramped? Gail: No. Billy's cock is as mushy as a puddingblob, so he just used a shoehorn and stuffed it right in! Interviewer: I see. You must tell me all about it. Gail: I never really expected Billy to want to buttfuck me, but then after he saw me in that Cub Scout uniform, he figured "What the hell?" Interviewer: A Cub Scout uniform? Isn’t that a little pedo? Gail: Billy's always been fixated on anal sex with boys. I guess a woman can get used to anything. Interviewer: Go on. Gail: We were drunk off our asses on Ripple, ginger ale and soda—that’s called an Anal Evacuator—at the time. And Billy said I looked better than a PayPal whore with a $100 donation. Interviewer: Anal in the trailer with Billy. How interesting. Well, how was it? Gail: The shoehorn was great but Bill pissed up my butt when it was time for him to come. Interviewer: Did you ever try it again? Gail: Sure. Lots of times. But not in the trailer. Between Bill and his shit, the flies were too much to bear. Interviewer: We meant the Ripple. Gail: Oh, yeah, I always get sloshed before I let Bill near my pootyhole. You don’t think I could put up with all his Parky shit sober do you? Ripple, like all liquor, was made to mix you up. It's a light, 48-proof, refreshing spirit, just mild enough to make you drink too much before you know you're schnockered. For your first time, mix it with orange juice. Or maybe some white wine. Then you won't remember anything the next morning. Ripple. The mixable that smarts. Just take it from Gail Schmalfeldt.
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